Hidden Laws of Connection
Connection is made of both presence and absence
This morning, a thought about coherence and distancing struck me. Coherence - or rather, the way things can feel so inconsistent - has been baffling me for the past nine months. Perhaps it’s fate, or perhaps the universe’s more reasonable judgment. If everything were perfectly coherent, it might lock us into a state that would be much harder to escape.
The same is true for distancing. I don’t know exactly what kind of intuition or introversion it is, but it feels like a necessary rhythm. Pulling back is not rejection; it’s a way of letting patterns reveal themselves without interference. Distancing creates space for recognition.
In that sense, incoherence and distance are not flaws in the connection. They are part of the connection. They prevent us from mistaking the mask for the Self, or the repetition for the truth. They remind us that meaning arrives in fragments, in pauses, in the gaps between encounters.
Maybe this is why Jung spoke of individuation as a slow process. Coherence is not given - it’s earned by walking through inconsistency. Distance is not absence - it’s the silence that lets the unconscious speak.
The coherence and distancing feel like hidden laws of the connection we live inside.
They have also helped me discover more about myself - about the nature of connections and parts of my inner life I hadn’t touched in the last seven years. What first felt like disorientation slowly revealed hidden layers, showing me how much growth can come from pauses, gaps, and the spaces where certainty falls away.
For the past nine months I’ve been searching for the right word. It shifted in tone over time, but now it feels settled. The only one that truly fits - for both sides, if you agree - is connection. It’s a word that carries both the distance and the closeness we’ve experienced.
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